Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
2
martin is talking about business continuity plans and i cannot say i am not actually following his ideas, i pay sufficient attention to what he's saying, but at the same time i am a bit mesmerised with his receding hair line. there are pills now for hair loss, does he know that? and even if you don't know about them or you think they're too dangerous, you still should have the decency to cut your hair short. now he's giving the example of 9/11. how many businesses were impacted when their employees died and they did not have proper business continuity plans. they did not correctly measure the risk so to design adequate mitigators, this is what happened, or at least this is what martin thinks. there were billion of dollars lost because of an incorrect risk assessment.
after this meeting i feel numb all day, i think it may be from too much protein but i'm not sure. this morning i was 78.3 kilos and later in the day i pushed to 550 ab-crunches. i feel good about myself and though i am absent i am able to smile at people in what i think it is a more authentic way.
later i arrive at home and decide to do some more ab-crunches and then i drink a banana protein shake with soy milk. the taste is awful so i try to change favours from time to time. then i watch tv for a while. it is this show about a homosexual guy trapped in a heterosexual woman's body, this girl celia who wants to be a male homo. i think i even doze off for a while. then i drink another protein shake and i watch some more tv, this time some commercials to frying pans and magic pots. i go in the kitchen and count my pots and i have three, which seems to be enough for one person. then i go on facebook and then on google+ and after that there isn't much to do so i watch a porn. two hot latinos, one tall and well hung and the other one kind of petit body, yet a very muscular bubble butt. then i take a shower and spend some thirty minutes inspecting my skin, thinking about 2012 and the end of the world. i suspect a certain conversational pleasure about this subject, we seem to have finally something that it is worth talking about. it is about the weather, about vacation plans, about risk management, about pans and pots. and sometimes it is about sex. i jerk off and i am lost in the sweat that i see shining on my chest, in the mirror. yes, sometimes it is about sex.
after this meeting i feel numb all day, i think it may be from too much protein but i'm not sure. this morning i was 78.3 kilos and later in the day i pushed to 550 ab-crunches. i feel good about myself and though i am absent i am able to smile at people in what i think it is a more authentic way.
later i arrive at home and decide to do some more ab-crunches and then i drink a banana protein shake with soy milk. the taste is awful so i try to change favours from time to time. then i watch tv for a while. it is this show about a homosexual guy trapped in a heterosexual woman's body, this girl celia who wants to be a male homo. i think i even doze off for a while. then i drink another protein shake and i watch some more tv, this time some commercials to frying pans and magic pots. i go in the kitchen and count my pots and i have three, which seems to be enough for one person. then i go on facebook and then on google+ and after that there isn't much to do so i watch a porn. two hot latinos, one tall and well hung and the other one kind of petit body, yet a very muscular bubble butt. then i take a shower and spend some thirty minutes inspecting my skin, thinking about 2012 and the end of the world. i suspect a certain conversational pleasure about this subject, we seem to have finally something that it is worth talking about. it is about the weather, about vacation plans, about risk management, about pans and pots. and sometimes it is about sex. i jerk off and i am lost in the sweat that i see shining on my chest, in the mirror. yes, sometimes it is about sex.
1
he smiles in a very self-conscious manner and i'm asking myself at this point who is he after all, who is this person in my flat? it's been only nine days so why do I feel such a torment when I think of his eyes and his muscular body? last night I had to actually explain to him that a single man is not a tom ford original script as he thought it was. and i have the impression that we use sex to make up for an otherwise dull conversation. he follows my body with his eyes. we discuss about japan and then about greece and then about israel. not the regular topics though, we stay away from those, but about the harajuku fashion, the sex parties in mykonos and the club where offer nissim plays in tel aviv.
he takes his t-shirt off casually and i become very conscious of my own body and feel a tingle of nervousness about my abs, though i pushed to 500 ab-crunches in the gym today. last night i was 78.5 kilos and this morning i was 79. i know this does not necessarily mean that i am getting fatter, but the notion of getting half a kilo in one night upsets me. we start to kiss and his breath is minty on my lips, i feel very awake and i get closer to him. then suddenly i think about this guy i saw yesterday on xtube, a random view from the section big cocks. i don't want to concentrate on this but it just popped in my mind so i have to run away from it. i kiss tony harder and i bite his neck while he goes down to my nipple. i hear the clock ticking on the wall though the music is too loud for this to actually be real. lily allen sings about a dog and about hanging around the house eating chinese or something pretty close to that. her soft voice fills the air in the room.
we fuck like rabbits. actually every time i engage in sex i think of rabbits in a way. not really thinking maybe, more like i feel i am a rabbit. i am a fucking hare with red eyes. my mind goes completely blank, it is not about him and it is not about me anymore, it is just nothingness, the apocalypse at past tense. and now these nine days feel like nine years, the time has lost its significance and the physics are masters over emotions. and i know that minutes from now, when my sexual tension would have discharged, i will fall down and love will remain up in the air, above my head. so i grab him and i push harder and tell myself this is life and i have to get on with it.
he takes his t-shirt off casually and i become very conscious of my own body and feel a tingle of nervousness about my abs, though i pushed to 500 ab-crunches in the gym today. last night i was 78.5 kilos and this morning i was 79. i know this does not necessarily mean that i am getting fatter, but the notion of getting half a kilo in one night upsets me. we start to kiss and his breath is minty on my lips, i feel very awake and i get closer to him. then suddenly i think about this guy i saw yesterday on xtube, a random view from the section big cocks. i don't want to concentrate on this but it just popped in my mind so i have to run away from it. i kiss tony harder and i bite his neck while he goes down to my nipple. i hear the clock ticking on the wall though the music is too loud for this to actually be real. lily allen sings about a dog and about hanging around the house eating chinese or something pretty close to that. her soft voice fills the air in the room.
we fuck like rabbits. actually every time i engage in sex i think of rabbits in a way. not really thinking maybe, more like i feel i am a rabbit. i am a fucking hare with red eyes. my mind goes completely blank, it is not about him and it is not about me anymore, it is just nothingness, the apocalypse at past tense. and now these nine days feel like nine years, the time has lost its significance and the physics are masters over emotions. and i know that minutes from now, when my sexual tension would have discharged, i will fall down and love will remain up in the air, above my head. so i grab him and i push harder and tell myself this is life and i have to get on with it.
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